“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist”
In this day and age one would think the patriarchal system is dead and gone. I for one believe it is still there and women drowned in feminist “theory” choose to ignore it. What’s the point of feeling empowered if it is only in words but less in practise? At the age of twenty, I haven’t seen much neither have I acquired skills in the school we call life. I have been fresh out of my teens for a month now and all I can tell you is tradition is a façade for immoral uncouth behaviour.
Having a background of a polygamist father I have come to the realisation that wealth is used by insecure males to make them more superior. Now please note this is not my way of fighting my father or condemning his ways. I am only a child. Many African men have used the excuse of tradition to justify the possession of multiple partners. I use the word possession because I feel women especially the young ladies permit men to objectify them. I respect my culture and yes I will respect my future husband and be submissive but I strongly believe the notion “for better, for worse, BUT not for granted”.
Economic power over me does not mean the establishment of a master-slave relationship between us. As much as I would want complete liberalism from the males I do acknowledge interdependence and that one cannot do without the other. However, this brings me to my incitement to write.
Men being the hunters from the first man until now, women have been programmed to believe that they deserve to dominate. I refuse to ignore the burden borne by the first and present woman. The pain of being a patriarchal slave, the pain of motherhood and not having an identity. From birth you are your father’s property bearing his surname and upon becoming a woman you bear your husband’s name and become his possession. You come from one patriarchy to another. The chain is loosened but not broken.
A woman is taught to be dignified and to have only one partner whilst tradition boosts the man’s ego giving him lea way to exploit more women through polygamy. They call it polygamy and I call it promiscuity. It is immorality that does not try to be obscured but is paraded in society through tradition and religion.
The main culprits are the rich men in our society. Our young girls have been victims of these jackals. They are wooed into these relationships by the wealthy men’s cunning nature, taken advantage of and have to settle for second best as the man’s mistress or second wife. I do understand the economic hardships and peer pressure these women fight that only a few can overcome. I will not try to persuade people to accept my view neither will I start a movement but I refuse to be objectified and to be second best. If this is the price of wealth I would rather die poor.